KAZAAM!

- Ted Hall

"Shaq, you're not really a genie. And even if you were, genies can't go back in time."
"Oh... KAZAAM!"

I haven't posted since last year's March Madness and now we'll soon have arrived at March Madness '08. Don't know if I'll be posting again, but I couldn't resist this one.

It wasn't too terribly long ago that I hoped for the Mavericks to trade Dirk for Shaquille O'Neal. Even Simmons thought it was a good idea, asking, "How does this team not win a championship?"

The Nash-Shaq combo would have been unstoppable and, at the time, Shaq's stock was higher than Dirks, so his unhappiness in L.A. made it an equal trade.

That didn't happen, though.

Nash fled in free agency to Phoenix, insulted by Cuban's offer. Shaq went to Miami. Dirk stayed here.

Now Phoenix, in a trade that doesn't really make sense to me, has a deal in the works that would send Marion to Miami and bring in Shaq and guard Marcus Banks. Even though I wouldn't objectively do this deal in 7 out of 10 lifetimes, I'm still jealous. So very jealous of the MDE (Most Dominant Ever) playing with the MCE (Most Canadian Ever).

It's just some confusing and frustrating news that I didn't want to hear in my current condition: ILL as HELL.

The Mean Green Are Going Dancing

-Ted Hall

The University of North Texas is going to the big dance, but before I start into March Madness (there’s a lot to talk about), I want to issue a short rebuttal to Mark’s latest entry to NT Balls.

Mark said in his last article about the Mavs’ season:

…the Mavericks have one key factor, something they’ve never had since Cuban bought them. They’ve got respect.

On ESPN2’s First and 10 last week, Skip Bayless and his black co-star du jour both ranked the Mavericks the two spot in their NBA power rankings (one behind the Suns and the other behind the Spurs). Eric Neel wrote a column about the Mavs titled, “Mavs just can’t win my love,” pointing out their supposed lack of star power. John Hollinger’s power rankings (also on ESPN.com) have the Mavs perpetually in the two slot behind either the Spurs or Suns. And last night, after the Mavs’ 17-game win streak was broken by Don Nelson and the Warriors on Monday (the second game of a back-to-back in California, by the way), Stan Verrett had this to say to kick off the Sportscenter Minute: “Move over, Mavericks. The Spurs are the hottest team in the NBA.”

Respect? R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Ms. Franklin and I beg to differ.

The national media has absolutely no respect for the Mavs. At the All-Star Break, the Dallas Mavericks’s record ranked in the top five all-time at that point in the season. The other teams included in that ranking were the ’96 Bulls, ’97 Bulls, ’83 76ers and ’86 Celtics. Those, if you’re not familiar with basketball or history or America, are four of the greatest teams of all time. All. Time. Jordan. Bird. All four of those teams won championships. The ’86 Celtics, in fact, boast one of the greatest lineups of all time: Bird, two other Hall of Fame inductees in Robert Parish and Kevin McHale, and another potential Hall of Famer in the recently deceased Dennis Johnson. How do you think the Media and the rest of America ranks Nowitzki-Howard-Terry-Harris-Dampier compared to these teams? We should be talking about how the Mavs could turn out to be one of the greatest teams of all time, if we think they can sweep every opponent in the playoffs and how Nowitzki is a guaranteed Hall of Famer, but instead, the Spurs are “the hottest team in the NBA” and the Suns are the “real” power in the West.

The Dallas Mavericks are 3-1 combined against the Spurs and Suns. Respect? Yeah, right. I guess we’ll see when the Suns and Mavericks play tonight.

Ok, enough hate! On to North Texas Basketball! Oh… did I say, “enough hate”? I meant, “much, much more hate”.

It’s been a very exciting time for all fans* of the NT cagers. Winning the Sun Belt Conference Championship as a 5-seed was very impressive. Doing so by beating an Arkansas State team which had defeated them twice this season was heroic. Winning the last three games without an influenza’d Kendrick Davis was something I would have never guessed could happen. Ok, he only had the flu for the game against Middle Tennessee State, but the game after that, he was obviously still recovering and the game before… well, he just didn’t show up (1-18 in 42 minutes).

*-Mark is not included in the category of ‘fan’. He couldn’t manage to drive 20 minutes to Lewisville to watch the game against MTSU on television (the only bar I could find with the game was the Fox and Hound, an overpriced English-style pub) and left our watch party during the second half of the Sun Belt Championship Game to look for a cat. The cat came back the very next day. They thought it was a goner, but the cat came back. Maybe this site should be called Texas Ranger Balls, because that’s all that seems to interest Mark Moseley.

The biggest surprise of the tournament, though, was the play of Ben Bell. The kid was amazing. Not to say he played well as a point guard, because he does not have this ability, but Bell sank clutch shot after clutch shot in the last three games. Without Kendrick Davis to defer to, he was creating his own shots, driving to the lane, drawing fouls and hitting his open jump shots: a complete transformation. I guess we’ll see if he can keep that up on Friday.

Calvin “It’s Elementary, My Dear” Watson had a great tournament, too. He averaged 17 points per game and was named Tournament MVP after sinking six three-pointers and scoring 24 total in the Championship game against Arkansas State.

My special awards all go to Johnny Jones. Apparently, during the last practice before heading down to Lafayette, Jones brought out a ladder and a pair of scissors. Johnny Jones then had the entire Mean Green basketball team practice cutting down the nets in the EagleLair. If I had seen this, in addition to bursting into inspired tears, I would have never had any doubt at all that North Texas would be Sun Belt Champs. I actually might have written that they would win the national title. But that was before they were seeded against Memphis.

So, I guess what you’re all waiting for is my NCAA tournament preview and how the North Texas Mean Green will go about defeating the two-seeded Memphis Tigers. The Tigers (currently on a 22-game win streak) went undefeated in Conference USA – not a major conference by any means, but certainly more competitive than the Sun Belt. Memphis only has two quality wins (against Kentucky and Gonzaga) and I don’t consider either of those teams real contenders. That would be an indicator that we’d have a chance except that Memphis’ only three losses come against three teams (Arizona, Tennessee and Georgia Tech) that each could beat NT 99 out of 100 times. That’s not even taking into account that North Texas didn’t even play a quality game, much less garner a quality win. The most challenging opponent we faced all season was a weak 17-win Nebraska team, which beat us by 19 points.

I thought the Mean Green could win the Sun Belt Tourney because they had the heart and seemed to have the desire, but I don’t think heart is going to be enough this time. The Tigers have some size; North Texas has Justin Howerton (1.8 ppg!). The Eagles are at their best when they play a fast-paced, run and gun style of basketball; Memphis is too, and they’re much, much better at it. One tournament preview said that if North Texas tries to run against Memphis, the Tigers will run them out of New Orleans Arena. Bryan Cole, a friend of mine from Tulane, has seen his Green Wave play Memphis several times over the past four years. This year, Tulane played Memphis twice and was annihilated both times, losing one game by 44 points. When I suggested that UNT might have a chance against Memphis, he just laughed, then suggested that the Mean Green would probably match up better against Ohio State. Whether that’s true or not, I can’t say, but I’m beginning to believe that Johnny Jones’ boys don’t stand a chance this weekend in New Orleans.

I hate to be Debbie Downer (I’d rather be Sensual Sally…mmmm), but if North Texas plays the best game of its season and Memphis plays the very worst of theirs, I don’t think they pull this one out. But if North Texas plays the greatest game in the history of the school and Memphis plays the worst in the history of theirs, we might have a chance. If North Texas is firing on all cylinders; if Ben Bell, Calvin Watson, Kendrick Davis, Keith Wooden, Michael Sturns, Rich Young and Quincy Williams all have the game of their respective lives, we certainly have a chance. If Memphis’ starting lineup commits the common rookie error of consuming more than two Hand Grenades at Tropical Isle, we might just get that win.

And when we get that win, after the Tigers all come down with Kendrick Davis’ three-day flu, we’ll move on to the Field of 32 where we’ll face Creighton or Nevada.

Then we’ll definitely lose.

Notes:
Check out this article about Rich Young. “Oh. So that’s why they kept calling him 'the Marine'.”

Sun Belt Conference Tournament Running Diary

-Ted Hall

Sun Belt Conference Men's Basketball Tournament Round 2

University of North Texas Mean Green v. University of Louisiana - Monroe

3:29: I missed the tipoff, but the game just got started. I’m doing my best to make a running diary off a radio game. This should be interesting. The game’s being broadcast on 100.7 The Word.

3:30: Ben Bell! My point guard hero. I actually purchased a radio for this game. You should be impressed. I think I’m going to order a pizza.

3:32: The game is tied 8-8. The commentators are talking about the Cajundome in Lafayette. I’m not sure they’ve ever been to Louisiana…. They may not even be there right now, actually.

3:35: Warhawks 0/7 from three. Sturns comes in! The Jerry Stackhouse of the Mean Green. South Alabama lost in overtime to Middle Tennessee State in the game before this one. If NT can win this one, things* are going to be looking good for them.

*- ‘things’ being chances of being Sun Belt Champs and going to the NCAA Tournament

3:38: Calvin “Elementary, My Dear” Watson has earned two fouls and was forced to sit. When Mark and I first started paying attention to NT basketball this year, we came up with nicknames for all the players. They were usually more famous people with the same last name. We had Raja Bell, John Wooden, Michael Young. It was funny… to us. I think I hear the NT BAND! I hope ?uestlove is conducting… it only bodes well for us if he is.

3:43: We’re up 14-11… I think. Radio basketball is tough for me to follow. Stewart is 3/3 for 6 points. I figured the broadcasters would be more absurd than they are. They’re actually doing pretty well, so far.

3:45: Heh. He said “penetrate.”

3:47: “This is a defensive-type game.” Read: Boring. I really am skeptical about the quality of Sun Belt basketball. If we had the same score between Texas and A&M, I would nod my head like a robot when the commentators say that sort of thing, but put two SBC teams in there, and I laugh and imagine open shots bouncing off the front of the rim, over and over again. North Texas is 8/18 shooting. Monroe is 5/20. UGH!

3:52: NT is 0/6 from three. STOP SHOOTING THREES. North Texas is a jump-shooting team that can’t hit its jump-shots. Ben Bell and Quincy Williams are “playing catch”, according to today’s announcers. Whatever that means. Kendrick Davis just took a shot from the Concession Stand. He ordered a frito pie, if you were curious.

3:55: We’re losing 23-16. Monroe just had a 10-0 run. Johnny Jones calls a time-out. “They’re having all kinds of trouble against Monroe, Co-champs of the Western Division.” I swear that 50 seconds ago, they were talking about how well they were matching up. Love the flip-flop. Love it.

3:56: “Ben Bell did not know that the shot clock was winding down.” Not a good sign, ladies and gentlemen. 25-16, Monroe. The Monroe supporters were probably doing that fake countdown thing that never works. Why do North Texas fans do that? If they used the same energy to actually cheer or pay attention or give t-shirts to people who deserve them (me), games would be a lot more fun.

3:59: 60,000 clients trust Park Place with their Lexus? That’s impressive. I feel like you shouldn’t be allowed to own an upscale car dealership if you pronounce the word “wash” with an “r” in it. My ex-girlfriend did that: warsh the dishes, Warshington State, etc.

4:00: “First basket in 5 1/2 minutes for North Texas.” NOT a good sign, ladies and gentlemen. 3 minutes left to go in the half. Quincy Williams’ nickname is apparently “the Q”. I like it. I like “Quincy Jones” or “Quincy Carter” better, though. I’m sticking with the famous people thing.

4:02: The Q is hot. Ben Bell has 4 points! I think that’s a season-high for Bell!

4:04: The refs ask Jonas Brown of the Warhawks to tuck in his jersey. This has been the most exciting moment of the game so far.

4:05: Halftime. 36-24, Monroe. Yuck. I wonder if Independence Day is still on TV. Best line in cinematic history is accredited to Harry Connick, Jr.: “You're never gonna get to fly the space shuttle if you marry a stripper.” I actually would like to see a stripper fly the space shuttle, to tell the truth. It would certainly restore interest in the space program.

4:09: “2nd-lowest scoring half of the year.” A sign of the apocalypse, ladies and gentlemen. This is a running beer diary from this point on. Beer count: 1

4:13: Just called Mark. He said, “We’re gonna win…It’s our chance.” after sighing about 17 times.

4:17: 100.7 just listed all the restaurant sponsors. I didn’t know that we had that many fast food restaurants in Denton. I’d like to go to Chicken Express and Cici’s Pizza in the same day. Instant death. I take that back. I want Ben Bell to go to Express and Cici’s in the same day.

4:21: Just ordered from Papa John’s. Everyone I know hates their pizza, so I can only order it when I’m alone listening to a basketball game on the radio. I don’t know why I love it, but I just do. The second half has started. Ben Bell drove to the lane! Fouled! Two points! Pigs are flying! Hell is freezing! Mark Moseley is making love to a woman!

4:23: Calvin “Elementary, My Dear” Watson just sank a three. The announcer called him “C-Wat”. Ok, “the Q” isn’t so bad, but “C-Wat”? Honestly? NT is down by 7… rally caps on, ladies and gents.

4:24: “Bell earns a trip to the line.” You’re kidding me! If Ben continues his streak of having some balls, we could pull this one out. NT is down by 5. Oh! Foul against the Q.

4:27: “Nifty dribbling” would make a good band name. “Nifty Dribbling live at the forum!”, “Nifty Dribbling breaks up after 12 years and 3 quadruple-platinum albums.”, “Ted Hall, lead singer of Nifty Dribbling, overdoses on Chicken Express and Cici’s Pizza today at the age of 47 at his home in Long Beach.”

4:28: 42-39, Monroe. Ben Bell is playing really well. I knew you could do it, Raja. Speaking of Raja Bell, I watched Aladdin last night for the first time in about 11 years. It was really a pretty solid flick and as a music-lover, I’m kind of impressed with the songwriting for the movie. I’m actually thinking of having a Disney movie-watching event of some sort to see if this is a continuing trend. A girl I was watching asked what Disney character I’d be if I were one. After much debate, I determined that I would be Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. I mean, the guy was a real asshole, but he sings the line, “…every last inch of me’s covered with hair.” It doesn’t get better than that.

4:32: “…if Sturns makes these two free throws, the Monroe lead will be reduced to 1.” Sturns, of course, misses both. Stop talking. For the love of god, stop talking. “Sturns has a perfect game through 6 innings –” THUNK. Whatever.

4:34: “Whatever Johnny Jones fed Stewart before that game Wednesday night, he’s keeping it in him.” I hope it was Snausages.

4:36: My buddy David just called me. The Spanish word for popcorn is apparently “palomitas” (this was a topic of discussion last night). But I think a palomita is a pigeon. On second thought, “palomitas” is probably the Mexican word for popcorn… I’m going to say the jury’s still out on this.

4:38: Kendrick Davis is 1/12 shooting. I just threw up in my mouth.

4:39: What the hell is the possession arrow? Could someone explain this to me? Just looked up “popcorn” in an online dictionary: palomitas de maiz. Pigeons of corn. That is what I’m calling popcorn from now on.

4:41: Pizza’s here. Beer count: 2 Monroe still leads by 3.

4:43: Ben Bell sinks a three. He has 11 points and we are tied at 47. Woah. This is a good sign, ladies and gentlemen.

4:48: Kendrick Davis is 1/14, 0/8 for 3. I’m putting pins in my eyes. Please. Please. Please stop shooting.

4:49: The pizza and beer is slowing my journaling down. Sorry, kids. Sacrifices must be made. 50-49… us? I’m not sure who’s winning, actually. Radio sucks. Oh. It was Monroe who was leading.

4:53: We’re tied at 54. Turns out that these announcers are idiots, too. They started out so well. “He’s 1/15 right now, but I still think you look for Kendrick davis.” Do you? DO YOU???

4:56: “If Johnny does one thing excellent…” They also have trouble with grammar.

4:57: “Ooooooooooooooooooooooofficial Timeout.” Not really. I was just missing the mean green’s home announcer for a second. It is, however, the final media timeout for the game. It’s coming to a close and, because it’s on the radio, I have no idea what the score is. Dammit.

4:59: Monroe leads by one. C’mon, guys. This is the season! Don’t lose to my mother’s alma mater. Oh yeah, my mother went to UL-Monroe. We were talking about the today’s game last night and she said… wait. Wait just one second. Nevermind. That never happened. No one talked about this game, because even though half my family went to Monroe, none of them give a crap. UNT supporter count: 1, UL-M: 0.

5:02: 59-57, Monroe. 3:00 minutes left in regulation. WAIT! We’re now tied at 59. Way better than down by 2. UL-Monroe does not miss freethrows. I hate to say it, but this could be the difference in the game.

5:04: The announcer just called Kendrick Davis’ game a “poor shooting performance”. What? Kendrick Davis is 2-374 tonight. Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face is a “poor shooting performance.” Kendrick Davis’ play tonight is “a nausea-inducing, eye-gouging, puppy-killing nightmare.” Oh, I just killed a puppy, by the way.

5:07: “Either going to be heartache or elation for North Texas.” Really? Will it be one of those? I thought it was going to be a time of quiet self-reflection.

5:09: Wooden just fouled out of the game. Oh well. He was 1 of 2 for three points. They’re really keeping our stars out of the game tonight.

5:09: “This is a ‘get-r-done’ in regulation game.” What the hell does that mean? If I ever figure out who these guys are, I’m going to mail that dead puppy to their homes in at least two pieces.

5:10: Game is tied at 64. 23 seconds left. Shot clock is off. “Monroe can play for the win.” Uh, I’m going to jump out on a limb and say that we might need a defensive stop here. Please, Johnny. Don’t make me write about soccer… or worse: hockey. Mark has dibs on basketball.

5:13: “Hooper tried to get too cute with the dribbling there…” Monroe loses the ball, Ben Bell (for MVP) picks it up and calls timeout with 2 seconds left. Eek.

5:14: “With 2 seconds left, who do you draw it up for?” Please not Davis. Please, please, please not Kendrick Davis. 2.4 seconds.

5:15: Shot from someone (I hate radio basketball) is no good. Tied at 64. Overtime. “North Texas has some foul trouble to negotiate.” Dammit.

5:19: 1st OT. Ben Bell hit 1 freethrow to retake the lead. Announcer just said that Bell has “quietly” had a good day and that “It doesn’t seem like he should have double figures.” Maybe you’re not watching the same game that I’m listening to you talk about? Dead puppy is in the mail.

5:22: Kendrick Davis is 1/18. I was about to sacrifice a virgin to Thulsa Doom* when Conan the Barbarian (played by Ben Bell) sank a three to bring me back to sanity. Thanks, Ben “MVP” Bell.

*- Confession: before going back and checking this note, I wrote Lorna Doom. It’s not every day you get an evil James Earl Jones character confused with a shortbread cookie. Well, there was the one time I called Darth Vader, “Darth Trefoil” but that’s for another diary.

5:24: The announcers don’t have a nickname for Harold Stewart, but they call him by his first name, which just sounds weird. You can only call a great or unique player by his first name: Tiger, Peyton, Tony. You don’t call Harold, ‘Harold’. Mean Green lead by 7.

5:27: 1:49 left in OT. “They can climb back in it with a frozen clock.” I just had an image of a scoreboard covered in ice and icicles. Yes, I’m strange. Sorry.

5:28: They’ve called Harold Stewart ‘Harold’ about 5 times in the past 10 minutes. It’s not that big a deal, it’s just weird. 1:19 left in OT. 73-69, North Texas. Beer count: 3.

5:30: Monroe just got about 235 offensive rebounds and still couldn’t sink the shot. Jesus loves the Mean Green. Kendrick Davis goes to the line. (Uh-oh.)

5:31: Kendrick “Puppy Killer” Davis (an 80% free throw shooter) just sank two clutch free throws. He has 4 points.

5:33: Two more free throws from Davis. 77-71, North Texas. 14.5 seconds left in the game. We’re going to the Sun Belt Conference Semifinals, ladies and gentlemen.

5:35: Victory. North Texas – 77, Louisiana-Monroe – 71. Total beer count: only 3. North Texas will face Middle Tennessee state tomorrow. Ah, the alma mater is playing. Thank you, ?uestlove. Thank you for the victory. The game will be on ESPN Plus, which you can only see in Quito, Ecuador with the NCAA Superpass. I’m going to see if it’ll be playing at a bar around here somewhere, anyway.

5:37: According to our most-esteemed game commentator, Davis plays really well after playing poorly. So, relatively speaking, tomorrow he’s going to go 57-60 for 147 points. Be sure to watch if you can.

March Senility

(Not Quite Madness – Yet)

-Ted Hall

The North Texas Men’s Basketball Team is the Sun Belt Tournament Champion.

A week ago, I would only have dreamed of typing that sentence, but today that same team is one week away from making it a reality.

Last Thursday, I arrived alone at the EagleLair (I refuse to call our Colosseum the “Super Pit”… sounds like a prescription deodorant or something). I showed up late because I had to stop at the concession stand to pick up my favorite combo (popcorn, hotdog, small soda, underage Asian cashier). I sat down in the seats at mid-court and surveyed the situation. We had the lead, seemed to have control of the game and ?uestlove was directing the band again. Things looked good. Going into the half, we led 40-29 and I’d written off the game against Arkansas State as a victory.

Bad call.

Arkansas State was outmatched. They had more size than the Mean Green (especially Little, their center), but didn’t have the skill or speed to keep up with Kendrick Davis and the bunch. But as we’ve seen far too frequently this season, the Eagles had trouble closing out. They had poor shot selection, they weren’t able to take advantage of the holes left by the full-court press (like they had against Troy), and they were lethargic, refusing to move without the ball. In fact, I would like to completely retract everything I said about Ben Bell two weeks ago. Ok, maybe not everything. But honestly, how can you expect a point guard to create any shots and see where to put the ball if the entire team stands still during every offensive possession. Bell also sported an interesting striped sock combo that was pleasing to this knee-sock aficionado, which may have contributed to his being forgiven. Arkansas State fought back from their deficit and pulled out a win in the end. I sprinted out of the EagleLair, depressed and disenchanted, and determined that, even though they had one more regular season game to prove their worth, North Texas would not fare well in the upcoming Sun Belt Conference Tournament in Lafayette, Louisiana.

Today was Round 1 of the Sun Belt Tourney and the no. 5 seed Eagles matched up against the no. 12 seed University of Louisiana – Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns. The Eagles had played the Cajuns only four days ago in Lafayette and won 72-70, accumulating a stat line that would hardly guarantee victory this evening. The Eagles, however, had a surprise for all their loyal fans: they decided they wanted this win. We, as fans, and others (the evil sports media) focus on stats and superstars so much that we forget about the importance of desire and focus and heart in every victory in everything we do; especially in sports, especially in college sports and very especially in basketball. Momentum and emotion play so much into the game that anything from a spectacular dunk to the chance for a bid in the Big Dance can be the difference between victory and defeat.

Enough with philosophy. The Mean Green were fantastic tonight. They played great basketball. They got quality play from the maligned Ben Bell, who found open teammates and drove to the basket. Coach Johnny Jones got a great game out of star Kendrick Davis who had a season-high 24 points and was 6 of 8 from three. The team was fluid moving up and down the court, dominated the boards and scored 16 points on fast breaks. Though the quality of competition left something to be desired, the North Texas basketball team began to show some promise for the first time in weeks.

It was this game I needed to be convinced that this Eagle team could win the Sun Belt. Mr. Jones, consider me sold. I know now that if this team continues to play like this down in Lafayette for the rest of the Tournament, they could easily win it all. With that, let’s take a look at the rest of the field of the Sun Belt.

Round 2

• 5 North Texas v. 4 Louisiana – Monroe
• The 4^th-seeded Warhawks shouldn’t be the challenge for North Texas they were the first time the two met this season. The Mean Green lost 66-62 on February 10 in Monroe. At the time, NT wasn’t playing as cohesively as they are now and shot 39 percent from the field. UL-Monroe has played a tougher schedule than the Eagles with losses to LSU and Alabama (who they played relatively closely), but losses to weaker Sun Belt teams when playing away from home (at Denver, at UL-Lafayette and at New Orleans) show some real vulnerability that North Texas can and will exploit.
• 9 Middle Tenn. State v. 1 South Alabama
• Middle Tennessee doesn’t stand a chance, although the fact that South AlaBAM didn’t play a particularly tough schedule and lost three in a row to end the season against weak Sun Belt teams gives some hope to potential opponents in the Tournament Semifinals… ahem… mean green…ahem.
• 6 Florida Atlantic v. 3 Western Kentucky
• Western Kentucky should really come out ahead in this one, but don’t be surprised if FAU can pull one out against the Hilltoppers. North Texas did beat WKU twice this season, after all.
• 7 New Orleans v. 2 Arkansas State
• ASU should win this matchup, but as a North Texas fan (and bigger fan of the Crescent City), I’m rooting for New Orleans. If, by some act of God, we end up facing one of these two in the conference finals, I’d rather it be New Orleans than Arkansas State, who have beaten us twice. The first was an old-fashioned ass-whooping and the second was the tragedy I watched a week ago.
  

Assuming that North Texas can get past the quarterfinals on Sunday, Coach Jones will have quite a challenge against their likely foe, South Alabama. The Mean Green played the Jaguars once already this season, losing 90-89. If Kendrick Davis and Keith Wooden can keep it close again, NT will be able to advance to the Finals. If they do so, they’ll most likely face either Arkansas State or Western Kentucky. They’ve lost twice to ASU and won twice versus WKU. Nonetheless, the Hilltoppers still scare me and I don’t really want the Eagles to have to face either of those teams. Though these teams will tough to conquer, Ben Bell and Co. are capable of beating all of them, and if they can do so, they’ll be Sun Belt Conference Champions for the first time and will have a spot in the NCAA Tournament for only the second time in team history and for the first time since 1988 (when they lost in the first round to North Carolina – for you trivia addicts).

Before all that, before the excitement, before the 24-hour TV coverage begins, the North Texas Eagles are going to have to get motivated, get themselves through a weekend in Acadiana and get through three more quality basketball teams.

And they will… because now they’ve got the heart.

The Eagle Dilemma

-Ted Hall

Spring midterms are upon us, and that means one thing: I’m immersing myself. Not in a foreign language, not in calculus and not in a freshman co-ed’s undergarments. No, ladies and gentlemen, I’m immersing myself in North Texas basketball.

I know I’m a little late. Going into Thursday night’s game, the Mean Green were 16-7 overall, 7-5 in Sun Belt play and alone in second place in the Conference’s West Division. The team was headed in the right direction, and I could feel it. Then they took the court.

The Eagles got off to a slow start against an undersized and outmatched New Orleans team. The Privateers took the lead and the tempo early and held on for much of the game. North Texas managed to keep it close and briefly held victory in their grasp until Privateer Bo McCalebb sank a clutch three to win it for New Orleans.

The loss isn’t what bothered me about this game, though. Somehow, only one week removed from putting up 98 points against Troy, Johnny Jones’ Boys forgot how to shoot and, much more importantly, forgot how to create shots.

This is the Eagle Dilemma: Coach Jones is currently running the offense through point guard Ben Bell. There is a slight problem with this strategy: Bell is a terrible point guard. Maybe ‘terrible’ is a strong term. I meant it in the best way, honestly. I like watching the kid play. He’s fast, handles the ball well and is aggressive on defense (4 steals against New Orleans). Those attributes don’t add up to ‘Point Guard’, though. They add up to ‘Great Energy Guy’ or ‘Quality 6^th Man’ at best. A great point guard has vision (like Steve Nash); a good point guard can distribute effectively and can at least create his own shots when necessary (like Jason Terry). Ben Bell moves the ball to the top of the key, waits to be challenged, and immediately passes off to either Kendrick Davis or Keith Wooden, no matter whether either of them are open, available, willing, sitting on the bench, still at home or in the library of the North Texas Research Park.

With his speed and ball handling, Bell should at least be able to drive to the basket and draw fouls but shrinks at any resistance. The only time he drove down the lane against New Orleans was on the last possession of the game (he drew the foul, made 1 of 2, nearly won the game, and almost redeemed himself…almost). Basketball players are supposed to pass out of double teams; Ben Bell passes into them.

Now, before you write me off forever as an idiot who has ridiculous and unreasonable expectations for a Sun Belt Conference team that has made the NCAA Tourney once in its history and who may or may not have moved to Denton half way through the season, hear me out. I realize that this is not a high profile program and Bell may be the best point guard we have. I also have come to accept the depressing prospect that Bell being the best option at the point means that no one else in the program possesses any of the point guard attributes I listed in the previous paragraph (with the possible exception of JA-RED RUF-FIN). This does not mean, however, that Bell has to play.

If there’s no one who can create opportunities for Davis and Wooden and distribute effectively, then why wouldn’t we just run the offense through our best offensive weapons? Kendrick Davis at the point would give us a guard who could drive the lane, create his own shot and draw double teams, creating opportunities for others. This is the solution to the Eagle Dilemma, assuming, of course, that Davis steps out of his current slump (he had 0 points with 17:33 left against New Orleans).

Putting Davis at the point could be a big risk. It’s one I’m willing to take, but it’s all probably too little, too late. And now that the Dilemma has been solved with four games left in the regular season, go see for yourself what Coach Jones and his boys will try to do at home versus U. of Arkansas - Little Rock (Harvard of the Ozarks) and Arkansas State. They’re currently 16-9 and three games out of first place in the West. With a little skill and a little luck, the North Texas Eagles could be playing for the Sun Belt Championship. Though, with Ben Bell at the point, none of that will matter.

Cue the North Texas Baseball Team. What? Let me get this straight – there isn’t one?

Cue Ted Hall’s transfer application.

Random Game Notes:

• New Orleans G Shaun Reynolds began the game with a big play and began to yelp/hoot/holler. My friends and I began emulating him immediately, yelping every time he took possession. Reynolds stopped yelping and finished with 2 points. My buddy Mark kept making the noise long after the rest of us had stopped. Though it was apparently effective, we nearly had to kill him.
  

• North Texas G Calvin “It’s Elementary, My Dear” Watson went 5-6 from the line against New Orleans. This should be an official nickname.
  

• Unlike Ben Bell, Bo can dish it out. He can’t, however, take it.
  

• The hotdogs at The Pit are fantastic. Where’s the beer?
  

• There was a guy a few rows ahead of us who was rooting for New Orleans, and was wearing a New York Yankees ball cap. It didn’t really bother us that he was rooting for the opposing team, but rooting for the other guys and rooting for SATAN? Not acceptable. We gave him the business.
  

Official Notices:

Attn: Mean Green Band

You guys are awesome. Really. I enjoy it. But don’t play the gotdamn fight song immediately after losing a game on a last-second three-pointer. Play the Alma Mater, play Taps, play When Doves Cry, just don’t play the fight song. It doesn’t make sense. This bothered Orange Soda (my buddy Seth from Austin College) for the rest of the evening.

Attn: Halftime Show Planners

Bring back the little kids from the Troy game. Only two things would have made yelling at those 7-year-olds about boxing out and transition defense better: 1) Being drunk 2) Being number 4’s father. But not that fat kid. He’s Mark’s kid. And have them play against the gopher from the Rough Riders.

Attn: “Spirit Wench”

I went to get a hat from the girl that hands them out in the student section and I was told to wait until the next half. My man Seth went back in the second half and she told him he had to cheer. He cheered. No hat. He cheered and cheered. She gave the last hats to some kids. She then gave him a shirt sized small.
Stop bogarting the hats. Stop bogarting the shirts. You are not the Queen of UNT Spirit. You are not Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Eagles.